This officially stopped being almost vaguely amusing in around 1986.

Bees are like benign drunks – wayward and wobbly but essentially non-confrontational.

Wasps are ether-fried hoodies whose only purpose is to spoil everyone else’s fun.

Particularly at picnics or when you’re trying to relax near a bin.

The ones that reveal a few key moments from the film before displaying the ‘Play Movie’ bit.

I’ve already made the decision to buy/watch. There’s no need to try and seduce me with a mini-teaser trailer.

And, anyway, I might not want to see any kind of preview. I might want to just go in completely cold.

A quick, no-nonsense poster image overlaid with menu options will do nicely, thanks.

Normally, eating in close proximity to someone else is a choice, a pleasure, a social thing.

On a crowded commuter train/bus, there’s no choice. I have to be here to get to and from work.

That’s me, a gaggle of bleary commuters and you and your stinky steak pasty.

You’re an adult. Manage your day so you don’t have to stave off hunger snuggled up to unwilling spectators.

Passive eating. Just a notch down from passive smoking.

Flicker, twitch, spasm, annoy…

I know I’ve used a picture of woman Palin, so the concept doesn’t quite hold as an insult, but let’s be nice and clear…

Winking. Is for wankers.

Seriously, is there no machine that can do this yet?

Surely the most disgusting human habit that’s somehow managed to become socially acceptable.

If you’d think twice about openly spitting, farting, belching or even picking your nose, then you really shouldn’t be doing this, either.

There’s a special place in purgatory reserved for anyone who does this.

And a special word, too…

Bonus annoying points if they’re talking on a mobile phone as they sail past.